NLP

Energy and Reprogramming Your Mind

DrMatt -

Everything is derived from energy and understanding energy helps shift your old programming into new programming, which leads to new behaviors and thoughts. For more information go to www.nlp.com
Music: “Reach for Success” by Scott Holmes http://www.scottholmesmusic.uk/

Boundaries

DrMatt -

How can boundaries be utilized to achieve results? Learn 3 tips to define and uphold healthy boundaries that support your goals. For more information go to www.nlp.com
Music: “Reach for Success” by Scott Holmes http://www.scottholmesmusic.uk/

Dealing with Change

DrMatt -

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”— George Bernard Shaw
 

What’s your approach to change?
 

We experience all kinds of change in our lives: Change we like that we call positive. Change we hate that we label negative. Change that we instigate intentionally. Change that someone else foists on us. Change that is natural and expected (even if we’re not crazy about it). Change that hits us out of nowhere.
 

And to each of those changes, we each have a certain basic approach. We embrace change or reject it. We rejoice in change or we call it all kinds of ugly names. We’re afraid of change or eager for it. We feel victimized by change or responsible for it. We dread change or we feel energized by it.
 

What’s interesting is that people’s approach to change is similar no matter what the change is. For example, someone who tends to fear change will even get anxious over positive change: “Uh oh. By winning this lottery, will I lose all my friends? Will bad guys try to steal it from me? Will I have to give up who I am?” On the flip side, someone who embraces change with enthusiasm will find a way to embrace even a negative situation: “This diagnosis is just calling me to be healthier in my life style and be more compassionate with others.”
 

No matter what your particular basic approach is, one thing is certain when it comes to change: As the Borg on Star Trek used to say,

“Resistance is futile.”
 

Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher who lived around 500 BC, wrote “Change is the only constant in life.” Yep, it’s part of life. It was true two thousand years ago, and if anything, changes seem to be coming at us faster now. Without a healthy relationship to change, we’re likely to get bowled over by all the changes blasting toward us. Like standing in the middle of rush hour on the freeway, that incoming traffic is more likely to win than our resistant stance.
 

The interesting thing about change is that the longer we avoid the change (especially changes we know we need to make), the more uncomfortable it feels. And it’s often at the point of great discomfort that the universe decides to step in and clobber us with a cosmic 2 X 4. “You don’t want to leave that job that’s stressing you out? Okay. BAM! How about if we just have your back go out on you so you have to quit?” Or “So you won’t forgive the person who betrayed you? Fine, let’s bring a few more betrayers into your life until you get the point.”
 

Can you change your basic approach to change? Yes.
 

Last month, I wrote about what neuro linguistic programming or NLP calls “strategies.” Your basic approach to change is just a strategy you’ve chosen or learned. When you become aware of the sequence of steps in your strategy, you can choose different steps or a different sequence. If your basic approach, your strategy, for dealing with change isn’t working for you, you can change it. How?
 

Start by reviewing and jot down the steps and sequence of your current strategy for dealing with change. Next, devise a strategy that might give you better results. Here are some examples to get you started:
 

Maybe your current basic approach to change is to feel afraid of it. Your current strategy might be:
 

Step One: Visual (imagining all the bad things that might happen with this change) Step Two: Feeling (a sense of nervousness in your abdomen) Step Three: Auditory (listening to others’ complaints about the change) and Step Four: Internal Dialogue (telling yourself this change will hurt you). Congratulations! With this strategy, you can be in a full-blown panic in no time!
 

Or say your approach toward change is to avoid it as long as you can. Your strategy for that might be:
 

Step One: Auditory (listen to what everyone around you says about the change). Step Two: Feeling (feel a sense of confusion and uncertainty). Step Three: Internal Dialogue (tell yourself you’ll deal with it later when you feel more certain). This is a strategy that can loop forever. You haven’t rejected the change but you also haven’t accepted it. You simply remain indecisive long past the time when you should make a decision.
 

If your strategy toward change isn’t working for you, an alternative strategy might be:
 

Step One: Internal Dialogue (telling yourself things like “We’re only given what we can handle” and “Change is how we learn and grow” or “Change is natural and good.” Step Two: Feeling (becoming aware of your breathing and taking some deep breaths) Step Three: Visual (remembering all the times that change has been positive in your life and times when you handled it confidently) Step Four: Visual (imagining the best possible outcome from this current change).
 

Change will always be part of your life. Take the time to make sure you have the best possible approach to it!
 

There are three constants in life… change, choice and principles. – Stephen Covey

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at drmatt@nlp.com.

Dealing with Change

DrMatt -

“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.”— George Bernard Shaw
 

What’s your approach to change?
 

We experience all kinds of change in our lives: Change we like that we call positive. Change we hate that we label negative. Change that we instigate intentionally. Change that someone else foists on us. Change that is natural and expected (even if we’re not crazy about it). Change that hits us out of nowhere.
 

And to each of those changes, we each have a certain basic approach. We embrace change or reject it. We rejoice in change or we call it all kinds of ugly names. We’re afraid of change or eager for it. We feel victimized by change or responsible for it. We dread change or we feel energized by it.
 

What’s interesting is that people’s approach to change is similar no matter what the change is. For example, someone who tends to fear change will even get anxious over positive change: “Uh oh. By winning this lottery, will I lose all my friends? Will bad guys try to steal it from me? Will I have to give up who I am?” On the flip side, someone who embraces change with enthusiasm will find a way to embrace even a negative situation: “This diagnosis is just calling me to be healthier in my life style and be more compassionate with others.”
 

No matter what your particular basic approach is, one thing is certain when it comes to change: As the Borg on Star Trek used to say,

“Resistance is futile.”
 

Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher who lived around 500 BC, wrote “Change is the only constant in life.” Yep, it’s part of life. It was true two thousand years ago, and if anything, changes seem to be coming at us faster now. Without a healthy relationship to change, we’re likely to get bowled over by all the changes blasting toward us. Like standing in the middle of rush hour on the freeway, that incoming traffic is more likely to win than our resistant stance.
 

The interesting thing about change is that the longer we avoid the change (especially changes we know we need to make), the more uncomfortable it feels. And it’s often at the point of great discomfort that the universe decides to step in and clobber us with a cosmic 2 X 4. “You don’t want to leave that job that’s stressing you out? Okay. BAM! How about if we just have your back go out on you so you have to quit?” Or “So you won’t forgive the person who betrayed you? Fine, let’s bring a few more betrayers into your life until you get the point.”
 

Can you change your basic approach to change? Yes.
 

Last month, I wrote about what neuro linguistic programming or NLP calls “strategies.” Your basic approach to change is just a strategy you’ve chosen or learned. When you become aware of the sequence of steps in your strategy, you can choose different steps or a different sequence. If your basic approach, your strategy, for dealing with change isn’t working for you, you can change it. How?
 

Start by reviewing and jot down the steps and sequence of your current strategy for dealing with change. Next, devise a strategy that might give you better results. Here are some examples to get you started:
 

Maybe your current basic approach to change is to feel afraid of it. Your current strategy might be:
 

Step One: Visual (imagining all the bad things that might happen with this change) Step Two: Feeling (a sense of nervousness in your abdomen) Step Three: Auditory (listening to others’ complaints about the change) and Step Four: Internal Dialogue (telling yourself this change will hurt you). Congratulations! With this strategy, you can be in a full-blown panic in no time!
 

Or say your approach toward change is to avoid it as long as you can. Your strategy for that might be:
 

Step One: Auditory (listen to what everyone around you says about the change). Step Two: Feeling (feel a sense of confusion and uncertainty). Step Three: Internal Dialogue (tell yourself you’ll deal with it later when you feel more certain). This is a strategy that can loop forever. You haven’t rejected the change but you also haven’t accepted it. You simply remain indecisive long past the time when you should make a decision.
 

If your strategy toward change isn’t working for you, an alternative strategy might be:
 

Step One: Internal Dialogue (telling yourself things like “We’re only given what we can handle” and “Change is how we learn and grow” or “Change is natural and good.” Step Two: Feeling (becoming aware of your breathing and taking some deep breaths) Step Three: Visual (remembering all the times that change has been positive in your life and times when you handled it confidently) Step Four: Visual (imagining the best possible outcome from this current change).
 

Change will always be part of your life. Take the time to make sure you have the best possible approach to it!
 

There are three constants in life… change, choice and principles. – Stephen Covey

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at drmatt@nlp.com.

Timing is Everything

DrMatt -

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.” —Octavia Butler

 

We often hear the phrase, “Timing is everything,” but what does that really mean? We might say we were “at the right place at the right time” when something great happens to us. Or we acknowledge that “the timing was right” when that new relationship, job, or pregnancy showed up. Or we complain that “the timing couldn’t have been worse” when we get a flat tire on the way to any important meeting or get a huge zit right before a hot date.

 
But in those examples, we’re talking about timing as if it’s something outside of ourselves, something that happens to us that we didn’t generate. It’s as if timing has a life of its own. But according to Huna, we have responsibility to create and recognize good timing.

 

As those of you who’ve read my blogs know, I am privileged to carry on the 28th generation of a lineage of Huna, the ancient Hawaiian practice of energy work, empowerment and health in spirit, mind and body. One of Huna’s concepts that I teach in our trainings is ho’o ao.

 

Ho’o ao means “to look for right time and right place.” It’s the practice of paying attention to what’s happening around you, looking outside yourself to notice what’s going on in any situation—then to act appropriately with what’s happening in that moment.

 

Interestingly, professional comedians —at least the ones who are really funny and talented— are especially good at ho’o ao. They don’t just strut out on stage and perform their shtick. They pay meticulous attention to their audience’s reactions in each moment—when they laugh, how long they laugh, even what kind of laughter— to modify the pace of their set and the timing of their next joke. They tailor their tone and even their words to match the mood of the audience. I like how one comic, Hal Sparks, describes it:

 

“Vegas has the Whitman’s Sampler of audiences. They come from all different places, so you have to do some crowd psychology. You have to find the heartbeat of the room. It doesn’t shift my jokes, but it shifts my timing and my attention.”

 

You’re probably not an aspiring comedian, but looking for “the heartbeat” of any situation allows you to act and speak appropriately—and more effectively— within the moment. People who focus only on themselves and don’t look outside often miss this. They speak when they should listen or act silly during serious occasions. They don’t pick up on signals that someone isn’t ready to hear what they’re about to say. They talk at us rather than with us.

 

Huna asks us do it differently. Using ho’o ao, we stay sensitive to the people and situations around us then speak and act accordingly. Let me share a personal example:

 

When my daughter Skylar was five years old, she lost her best friend to leukemia. At that age, she had trouble even understanding death, much less dealing with her grief. It was very painful for her. One day, encouraged by her brother, she asked me about ho’oponopono and if it could help her. Ho’oponopono is known as the Hawaiian forgiveness process. It is also a process of release that is used when someone passes away.

 

I shared with Skylar why we do ho’oponopono, and what it is, and how we do it. Part of the process involves disconnecting with the person who is the focus of the process, in this case her friend. At that time, Skylar said she wasn’t ready for that yet.

 

So I gave her time. About two or three days later, she came up to me after school, and she said, “Okay, Daddy, I want to do it.” I took her through the process. The first time through, Skylar felt an immediate shift in the depth of her grieving. It wasn’t all gone. She still felt a little bit of sadness which is perfectly natural. Over time, as she asked me, I helped her do even more release work.

 

The point of this story is that Skylar had to be ready. It had to be her timing, not mine. As a concerned father, if I hadn’t been ho’o ao with the situation, I may have tried to take her through the release before the timing was right for her. My intention may have been good, but the results would not have been.

 

Take a moment to think about your own level of ho’o ao. Do you leap all over your spouse with your complaints when she’s just come in from a tough day at work? Do you frighten the timid children in your life with your loud voice and boisterous greeting? Do you fool around and make jokes when your team at work is trying to solve a difficult issue? Do you embarrass others by telling their personal stories in public?

 

Now ask yourself: Would applying ho’o ao to these situations and being more aware of “right timing and right place” serve you—and others—better?

 

“Observe due measure, for right timing is in all things the most important factor.” —Hesiod

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at drmatt@nlp.com.

Timing is Everything

DrMatt -

“Sometimes being a friend means mastering the art of timing. There is a time for silence. A time to let go and allow people to hurl themselves into their own destiny. And a time to prepare to pick up the pieces when it’s all over.” —Octavia Butler

 

We often hear the phrase, “Timing is everything,” but what does that really mean? We might say we were “at the right place at the right time” when something great happens to us. Or we acknowledge that “the timing was right” when that new relationship, job, or pregnancy showed up. Or we complain that “the timing couldn’t have been worse” when we get a flat tire on the way to any important meeting or get a huge zit right before a hot date.

 
But in those examples, we’re talking about timing as if it’s something outside of ourselves, something that happens to us that we didn’t generate. It’s as if timing has a life of its own. But according to Huna, we have responsibility to create and recognize good timing.

 

As those of you who’ve read my blogs know, I am privileged to carry on the 28th generation of a lineage of Huna, the ancient Hawaiian practice of energy work, empowerment and health in spirit, mind and body. One of Huna’s concepts that I teach in our trainings is ho’o ao.

 

Ho’o ao means “to look for right time and right place.” It’s the practice of paying attention to what’s happening around you, looking outside yourself to notice what’s going on in any situation—then to act appropriately with what’s happening in that moment.

 

Interestingly, professional comedians —at least the ones who are really funny and talented— are especially good at ho’o ao. They don’t just strut out on stage and perform their shtick. They pay meticulous attention to their audience’s reactions in each moment—when they laugh, how long they laugh, even what kind of laughter— to modify the pace of their set and the timing of their next joke. They tailor their tone and even their words to match the mood of the audience. I like how one comic, Hal Sparks, describes it:

 

“Vegas has the Whitman’s Sampler of audiences. They come from all different places, so you have to do some crowd psychology. You have to find the heartbeat of the room. It doesn’t shift my jokes, but it shifts my timing and my attention.”

 

You’re probably not an aspiring comedian, but looking for “the heartbeat” of any situation allows you to act and speak appropriately—and more effectively— within the moment. People who focus only on themselves and don’t look outside often miss this. They speak when they should listen or act silly during serious occasions. They don’t pick up on signals that someone isn’t ready to hear what they’re about to say. They talk at us rather than with us.

 

Huna asks us do it differently. Using ho’o ao, we stay sensitive to the people and situations around us then speak and act accordingly. Let me share a personal example:

 

When my daughter Skylar was five years old, she lost her best friend to leukemia. At that age, she had trouble even understanding death, much less dealing with her grief. It was very painful for her. One day, encouraged by her brother, she asked me about ho’oponopono and if it could help her. Ho’oponopono is known as the Hawaiian forgiveness process. It is also a process of release that is used when someone passes away.

 

I shared with Skylar why we do ho’oponopono, and what it is, and how we do it. Part of the process involves disconnecting with the person who is the focus of the process, in this case her friend. At that time, Skylar said she wasn’t ready for that yet.

 

So I gave her time. About two or three days later, she came up to me after school, and she said, “Okay, Daddy, I want to do it.” I took her through the process. The first time through, Skylar felt an immediate shift in the depth of her grieving. It wasn’t all gone. She still felt a little bit of sadness which is perfectly natural. Over time, as she asked me, I helped her do even more release work.

 

The point of this story is that Skylar had to be ready. It had to be her timing, not mine. As a concerned father, if I hadn’t been ho’o ao with the situation, I may have tried to take her through the release before the timing was right for her. My intention may have been good, but the results would not have been.

 

Take a moment to think about your own level of ho’o ao. Do you leap all over your spouse with your complaints when she’s just come in from a tough day at work? Do you frighten the timid children in your life with your loud voice and boisterous greeting? Do you fool around and make jokes when your team at work is trying to solve a difficult issue? Do you embarrass others by telling their personal stories in public?

 

Now ask yourself: Would applying ho’o ao to these situations and being more aware of “right timing and right place” serve you—and others—better?

 

“Observe due measure, for right timing is in all things the most important factor.” —Hesiod

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at drmatt@nlp.com.

Placing Success in Your Future

DrMatt -

“You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. . . . Put your future in good hands – your own.”
—Mark Victor Hansen

 

Last month, I wrote a blog about dealing with anxiety and introduced you to using your timeline. I got feedback from readers who were fascinated that they could get rid of their anxiety with such a simple process. And they were curious about other ways they could use their timeline and the Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) process.

 

MER® therapy is used in several ways: to deal with PTSD, phobias, and generally to release old baggage, those limiting beliefs and negative emotions that hold you back from being, doing and having what you want out of life. Getting to these deeper issues is simple but you need some training before you can use it effectively with yourself or others. In our Empower Your Life trainings, we give people this more extensive training.

 

However, even before you get this training, I can show you another powerful use of your timeline: placing your goals out into your future.

 

The first step is to set your goals correctly. If you haven’t learned proper goal setting, read our special report that will give you all you need to know. If you’ve had some experience with goal setting, here are a few brief reminders using the acronym SMART:
 
S: Specific and Simple. A good goal says, “I earn an additional $20,000 by October 15, 2017,” not “I want to be rich.”
 
M: Measurable and Meaningful. “Lots of money” is not measurable but $20,000 is. Also, your goal must be important and meaningful to you. If you don’t really care about making more money, don’t set a goal about it to please your spouse!
 
A: Achievable, All Areas of Your Life, and As If Now. An achievable goal is one you think is possible. If you have a huge goal, don’t give it up. Just set up interim goals along the way that seem more doable. Your goals also have to fit into your life as a whole. In other words, as you are working on this goal, how will you keep your other priorities in balance? The “as if now” part means that you write your goal and think about it as if it is happening in this present moment. Your goal should read, “I can bench press 80% of my body weight as of November, 2017,” not “I will be able to bench press 80% of my weight by next May.”
 
R: Realistic and Responsible. Given where you are and everything on your plate, is it realistic for you to achieve that goal within the timeframe you set? If you don’t think it’s realistic for you, neither will your unconscious —the powerhouse that will help you achieve your goal. The word “responsible” has to do with the sense of “ecology” Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) uses as a litmus test for goals. Your goal is ecological if it is good for your family, your community and even the planet.
 
T: Timed and Toward What You Want. What specific date will you achieve this goal? “Sometime” doesn’t cut it. Without a specific date, you can’t be clear about how much effort you need to put into it, right? Achieving your goal by next month is a totally different project than achieving your goal by the end of the year. Your goal should also focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. “I’m no longer fat” won’t work as well as “I’m a slim size 8 by December, 2017.”

 

Now let’s get your timeline involved in this process. I suggest you start with a simple goal, maybe even a goal about something you wish to accomplish by tomorrow or this week. First, write down your goal using the SMART acronym. When you have it clearly defined, find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for 10-15 minutes.

  1. Establish your timeline. If you didn’t try last month’s anxiety model, start by noticing where your timeline is in relation to your body. Think of an event in your past. As you remember that event, notice where it is. The past could be behind you or to your left or right. Next, think about something specific that will happen in the future. Is that upcoming event in front of you? To the left or right? You’ll notice that you can draw a line between the position of your past and your future. This is your timeline.
  2. Now, close your eyes and visualize the achievement of your goal. Experience this achievement as if it is happening now. For example, imagine that you are depositing a check for $20,000 in your bank account on October 15, 2017. As you picture this, be right inside of the action. Feel yourself endorsing the check. See the bank teller or ATM. Make this picture as vivid as you can.
  3. Next, step out of the picture of achieving your goal and make it smaller. It’s as if you step out of the movie screen so that now you’re watching it. Take that image and shrink it poster size. Hold it in your hands.
  4. Now simply float above your timeline over this present moment. Energize the poster of your goal with three deep breaths. It’s like placing your energy and intention into that goal with each exhale.
  5. Float out into the future until you’re directly above the date you set for achieving your goal. Drop the poster of your goal and let it float down into your timeline. Watch it set itself firmly in your timeline.
  6. Now float back to the present moment. Staying above your timeline, notice how events are lighting up and rearranging themselves toward the achievement of your goal. You might see specific activities or just have a sense of events on your timeline aligning toward your goal.
  7. Float back to now, open your eyes and become present in your body. Write down any insights or action steps that occurred to you during this exercise.
  8. Take action. You’ve given your unconscious very clear marching orders through this exercise. To lock it in, take immediate action toward your goal. It doesn’t have to be huge. But taking a step solidifies your intention.

 

I encourage you to experiment with placing your goals into your timeline. Don’t get uptight about whether you’re doing it exactly right. Play with it, and notice how that picture of success you’ve placed in your future draws you forward.

 

“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live.” – Greg Anderson

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at drmatt@nlp.com.

Placing Success in Your Future

DrMatt -

“You control your future, your destiny. What you think about comes about. . . . Put your future in good hands – your own.”
—Mark Victor Hansen

 

Last month, I wrote a blog about dealing with anxiety and introduced you to using your timeline. I got feedback from readers who were fascinated that they could get rid of their anxiety with such a simple process. And they were curious about other ways they could use their timeline and the Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) process.

 

MER® therapy is used in several ways: to deal with PTSD, phobias, and generally to release old baggage, those limiting beliefs and negative emotions that hold you back from being, doing and having what you want out of life. Getting to these deeper issues is simple but you need some training before you can use it effectively with yourself or others. In our Empower Your Life trainings, we give people this more extensive training.

 

However, even before you get this training, I can show you another powerful use of your timeline: placing your goals out into your future.

 

The first step is to set your goals correctly. If you haven’t learned proper goal setting, read our special report that will give you all you need to know. If you’ve had some experience with goal setting, here are a few brief reminders using the acronym SMART:
 
S: Specific and Simple. A good goal says, “I earn an additional $20,000 by October 15, 2017,” not “I want to be rich.”
 
M: Measurable and Meaningful. “Lots of money” is not measurable but $20,000 is. Also, your goal must be important and meaningful to you. If you don’t really care about making more money, don’t set a goal about it to please your spouse!
 
A: Achievable, All Areas of Your Life, and As If Now. An achievable goal is one you think is possible. If you have a huge goal, don’t give it up. Just set up interim goals along the way that seem more doable. Your goals also have to fit into your life as a whole. In other words, as you are working on this goal, how will you keep your other priorities in balance? The “as if now” part means that you write your goal and think about it as if it is happening in this present moment. Your goal should read, “I can bench press 80% of my body weight as of November, 2017,” not “I will be able to bench press 80% of my weight by next May.”
 
R: Realistic and Responsible. Given where you are and everything on your plate, is it realistic for you to achieve that goal within the timeframe you set? If you don’t think it’s realistic for you, neither will your unconscious —the powerhouse that will help you achieve your goal. The word “responsible” has to do with the sense of “ecology” Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) uses as a litmus test for goals. Your goal is ecological if it is good for your family, your community and even the planet.
 
T: Timed and Toward What You Want. What specific date will you achieve this goal? “Sometime” doesn’t cut it. Without a specific date, you can’t be clear about how much effort you need to put into it, right? Achieving your goal by next month is a totally different project than achieving your goal by the end of the year. Your goal should also focus on what you want, not what you don’t want. “I’m no longer fat” won’t work as well as “I’m a slim size 8 by December, 2017.”

 

Now let’s get your timeline involved in this process. I suggest you start with a simple goal, maybe even a goal about something you wish to accomplish by tomorrow or this week. First, write down your goal using the SMART acronym. When you have it clearly defined, find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed for 10-15 minutes.

  1. Establish your timeline. If you didn’t try last month’s anxiety model, start by noticing where your timeline is in relation to your body. Think of an event in your past. As you remember that event, notice where it is. The past could be behind you or to your left or right. Next, think about something specific that will happen in the future. Is that upcoming event in front of you? To the left or right? You’ll notice that you can draw a line between the position of your past and your future. This is your timeline.
  2. Now, close your eyes and visualize the achievement of your goal. Experience this achievement as if it is happening now. For example, imagine that you are depositing a check for $20,000 in your bank account on October 15, 2017. As you picture this, be right inside of the action. Feel yourself endorsing the check. See the bank teller or ATM. Make this picture as vivid as you can.
  3. Next, step out of the picture of achieving your goal and make it smaller. It’s as if you step out of the movie screen so that now you’re watching it. Take that image and shrink it poster size. Hold it in your hands.
  4. Now simply float above your timeline over this present moment. Energize the poster of your goal with three deep breaths. It’s like placing your energy and intention into that goal with each exhale.
  5. Float out into the future until you’re directly above the date you set for achieving your goal. Drop the poster of your goal and let it float down into your timeline. Watch it set itself firmly in your timeline.
  6. Now float back to the present moment. Staying above your timeline, notice how events are lighting up and rearranging themselves toward the achievement of your goal. You might see specific activities or just have a sense of events on your timeline aligning toward your goal.
  7. Float back to now, open your eyes and become present in your body. Write down any insights or action steps that occurred to you during this exercise.
  8. Take action. You’ve given your unconscious very clear marching orders through this exercise. To lock it in, take immediate action toward your goal. It doesn’t have to be huge. But taking a step solidifies your intention.

 

I encourage you to experiment with placing your goals into your timeline. Don’t get uptight about whether you’re doing it exactly right. Play with it, and notice how that picture of success you’ve placed in your future draws you forward.

 

“When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live.” – Greg Anderson

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at info@Huna.com.

Healing the Warrior

DrMatt -

“Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”
—Virginia Satir

 

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how Western culture approaches mental and physical healthcare. As far as we’ve come in understanding the human body and human psyche, in many ways I think we’re still lagging behind compared to the way many ancient cultures worked with health.

 

Before I continue, I want to say that I have the utmost respect for medical professionals. Those I’ve known are very sincere about helping others. But the overall system itself and the training these professionals were given is centered around disease, not health. Even in its “health” initiatives, Western medicine still focuses on disease prevention or minimizing disease, not optimum health.

 

Compared to ancient cultures I’m familiar with, Western medicine is very reactive rather than proactive. It’s as if Western medicine only springs into action when a problem is identified. It looks for “symptoms” and “warning signs” and treats those things. Unless there is an apparent problem, it pays little attention to maintaining natural health.

 

In contrast, the ancients knew that symptoms were not the problem itself but simply a signal of some kind of mind-body-spirit imbalance. They worked with that imbalance and approached it holistically, working with all three no matter how the symptom presented itself. So, if someone had a digestive issue, ancient healers would still work with that person on the spiritual and mental/emotional levels for complete healing.

 

Ancient healers also taught people how to stay in balance as a part of normal living, not just as a response to disease. In the Hawaiian culture for example, people were taught that “being pono” in daily life was normal. Pono doesn’t translate easily into English but it means being in harmony and balance with the world around you and within yourself. It’s that feeling most Westerners only have on really good hair days.

 

But for ancient Hawaiians, being pono was normal. Being even slightly off-balance (like having a small conflict with a co-worker or feeling ashamed about something) was not normal and needed to be addressed. When they didn’t feel pono, they didn’t just assume that they got up on the wrong side of the bed and ignore the feeling. They stayed aware of even the slightest hint of imbalance.

 

Ancient Hawaiians paid special attention to messages from the unihipili, or what we call the unconscious mind. They knew that the unihipili had their best interests at heart and that it knows how to support physical and emotional health. So when the unihipili told them they needed to rest, they rested. When it brought up some uncomfortable issue from the past to be dealt with, they dealt with it either through ritual or practices like ho’oponopono.

 

In contrast, many Westerners treat the unconscious mind abusively. We ask it for more physical energy because we want to work twelve, even fifteen hours a day. We ignore our unihipili’s attempts to surface repressed pain for healing because we don’t want to deal with the discomfort. We thwart the survival instincts of our unconscious by placing ourselves in dangerous or unhealthy environments. And when the unconscious mind attempts to do its job by forcing us to sleep to repair the body, presenting painful issues for resolution, or activating our fear response to keep us from risky actions, often we go to doctors to help us medicate it away.

 

Another way the ancients were more proactive than Western mental and physical health practitioners are today is in anticipating and addressing life circumstances and events that naturally throw us off-balance.

 

For example, the ancient Hawaiians recognized the psychological traumas associated with war. When soldiers returned from battle, they were automatically sent to a series of healing centers. One center healed the body, one healed the emotions, another healed the mind, and yet another healed the spiritual body. Knowing that war is a traumatic event for anyone—whether they exhibit symptoms or not— the community de-programmed each warrior before asking him to assimilate back into his village. The Kahuna (healers and teachers) realized that asking soldiers to go home and plant crops after they’d just been sent off to kill people was a challenging transition – and not a transition someone could navigate on their own.

 

What do we do? When our service men and women come home from war, we wait until a returned soldier reports severe headaches or ringing in the ears to initiate any treatment. We offer them help after they start showing signs of PTSD. If they don’t have obvious symptoms, we send them out on their own to try to figure out how to process what they’ve been through. Some of them figure out how to “cope” and others end up on the street.
Even for veterans of war who show no obvious symptoms, isn’t it obvious that anyone who has gone through that kind of trauma would need some level of physical/emotional/spiritual support and rebalancing?

 

Think of all the other “natural traumas” we experience: childbirth, loss of a loved one, transitioning from being a child to an adult, dying. Ancient Hawaiians had rituals and practices designed to keep the individual (and those around them) pono during and after those events. They didn’t wait until someone exhibited signs of postpartum depression or severe anxiety or ulcers before taking action. They anticipated that such an event would throw a person off-balance in some form and addressed it before the imbalance became an issue.

 

In contrast, Western culture assumes that we will figure out a way to cope with those things. We tell each other and ourselves to “buck up” and “get over it and on with it.” This might be a good strategy in some cases, but as author Judith Guest wrote:

 

“People who keep stiff upper lips find that it’s damn hard to smile.”

 

We may not be able to shift the focus of the entire medical community from disease to health. However, in our own lives, we have the ability to follow the example of the ancients by paying attention to what our bodies and unconscious minds have to say, being aware of and addressing any imbalance we feel, and by anticipating and addressing the normal life traumas we experience as they appear.

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at drmatt@nlp.com.

Healing the Warrior

DrMatt -

“Life is not what it’s supposed to be. It’s what it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”
—Virginia Satir

 

Lately, I’ve been thinking about how Western culture approaches mental and physical healthcare. As far as we’ve come in understanding the human body and human psyche, in many ways I think we’re still lagging behind compared to the way many ancient cultures worked with health.

 

Before I continue, I want to say that I have the utmost respect for medical professionals. Those I’ve known are very sincere about helping others. But the overall system itself and the training these professionals were given is centered around disease, not health. Even in its “health” initiatives, Western medicine still focuses on disease prevention or minimizing disease, not optimum health.

 

Compared to ancient cultures I’m familiar with, Western medicine is very reactive rather than proactive. It’s as if Western medicine only springs into action when a problem is identified. It looks for “symptoms” and “warning signs” and treats those things. Unless there is an apparent problem, it pays little attention to maintaining natural health.

 

In contrast, the ancients knew that symptoms were not the problem itself but simply a signal of some kind of mind-body-spirit imbalance. They worked with that imbalance and approached it holistically, working with all three no matter how the symptom presented itself. So, if someone had a digestive issue, ancient healers would still work with that person on the spiritual and mental/emotional levels for complete healing.

 

Ancient healers also taught people how to stay in balance as a part of normal living, not just as a response to disease. In the Hawaiian culture for example, people were taught that “being pono” in daily life was normal. Pono doesn’t translate easily into English but it means being in harmony and balance with the world around you and within yourself. It’s that feeling most Westerners only have on really good hair days.

 

But for ancient Hawaiians, being pono was normal. Being even slightly off-balance (like having a small conflict with a co-worker or feeling ashamed about something) was not normal and needed to be addressed. When they didn’t feel pono, they didn’t just assume that they got up on the wrong side of the bed and ignore the feeling. They stayed aware of even the slightest hint of imbalance.

 

Ancient Hawaiians paid special attention to messages from the unihipili, or what we call the unconscious mind. They knew that the unihipili had their best interests at heart and that it knows how to support physical and emotional health. So when the unihipili told them they needed to rest, they rested. When it brought up some uncomfortable issue from the past to be dealt with, they dealt with it either through ritual or practices like ho’oponopono.

 

In contrast, many Westerners treat the unconscious mind abusively. We ask it for more physical energy because we want to work twelve, even fifteen hours a day. We ignore our unihipili’s attempts to surface repressed pain for healing because we don’t want to deal with the discomfort. We thwart the survival instincts of our unconscious by placing ourselves in dangerous or unhealthy environments. And when the unconscious mind attempts to do its job by forcing us to sleep to repair the body, presenting painful issues for resolution, or activating our fear response to keep us from risky actions, often we go to doctors to help us medicate it away.

 

Another way the ancients were more proactive than Western mental and physical health practitioners are today is in anticipating and addressing life circumstances and events that naturally throw us off-balance.

 

For example, the ancient Hawaiians recognized the psychological traumas associated with war. When soldiers returned from battle, they were automatically sent to a series of healing centers. One center healed the body, one healed the emotions, another healed the mind, and yet another healed the spiritual body. Knowing that war is a traumatic event for anyone—whether they exhibit symptoms or not— the community de-programmed each warrior before asking him to assimilate back into his village. The Kahuna (healers and teachers) realized that asking soldiers to go home and plant crops after they’d just been sent off to kill people was a challenging transition – and not a transition someone could navigate on their own.

 

What do we do? When our service men and women come home from war, we wait until a returned soldier reports severe headaches or ringing in the ears to initiate any treatment. We offer them help after they start showing signs of PTSD. If they don’t have obvious symptoms, we send them out on their own to try to figure out how to process what they’ve been through. Some of them figure out how to “cope” and others end up on the street.
Even for veterans of war who show no obvious symptoms, isn’t it obvious that anyone who has gone through that kind of trauma would need some level of physical/emotional/spiritual support and rebalancing?

 

Think of all the other “natural traumas” we experience: childbirth, loss of a loved one, transitioning from being a child to an adult, dying. Ancient Hawaiians had rituals and practices designed to keep the individual (and those around them) pono during and after those events. They didn’t wait until someone exhibited signs of postpartum depression or severe anxiety or ulcers before taking action. They anticipated that such an event would throw a person off-balance in some form and addressed it before the imbalance became an issue.

 

In contrast, Western culture assumes that we will figure out a way to cope with those things. We tell each other and ourselves to “buck up” and “get over it and on with it.” This might be a good strategy in some cases, but as author Judith Guest wrote:

 

“People who keep stiff upper lips find that it’s damn hard to smile.”

 

We may not be able to shift the focus of the entire medical community from disease to health. However, in our own lives, we have the ability to follow the example of the ancients by paying attention to what our bodies and unconscious minds have to say, being aware of and addressing any imbalance we feel, and by anticipating and addressing the normal life traumas we experience as they appear.

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at info@Huna.com.

It’s All in Your Head

DrMatt -

“There is no fixed physical reality, no single perception of the world, just numerous ways of interpreting world views as dictated by one’s nervous system and the specific environment of our planetary existence.”

— Deepak Chopra

 
Do you remember how we use to use the phrase, “It’s all in your head?” It was used by doctors who couldn’t find the physical cause of an illness to say, “You’re not really sick.”  It was used by guilty spouses when their partner became suspicious to say “What you’re feeling/seeing/suspecting is all just your craziness.” It was used by parents to scold children into not being afraid of the witch under the bed or by bosses to ignore people who said they were being harassed or discriminated against.
 
Whenever someone said, “It’s all in your head,” they meant it as a dismissive put down. But the thing is, it all really is in your head. From the world you see around you, to the health of your body, it starts in the mind. And because it’s “all in your head,” you have enormous power to change it.
 
Don’t get me wrong. Certain things are plain fact, no matter what your mind says. A concrete driveway is a concrete driveway even if you want it to be a swimming pool. No matter how many times you visualize it as a swimming pool, no matter how many people you tell that it’s a swimming pool, even if you rename it “George’s Swimming Pool,” I’d still highly recommend you don’t go diving into it headfirst.
 
Though that concrete driveway is a fact (and will not turn into a swimming pool), still people will see it differently. Some people will think it’s attractive. Some will think it’s ugly. Some people will hate it for detracting from nature and others will love it for how it smooths their way into the garage. And some people will think, “Meh. It’s a driveway. Who cares?”
 

What about facts in your personal life? I always like the example of Spud Webb who is 5’6”-5’7”— yet he had a successful career in the NBA! How many kids would take the fact of being short and interpret it as “so I’ll never play pro basketball?” Mr. Webb did not change the fact of his height but he certainly chose a different interpretation of what it meant.

 

It’s all in your head. We aren’t affected in life by the facts nearly as much as our interpretation and perception of the facts.

 

And facts may be all around you that you simply don’t see. A friend told me a story of when she first started playing golf many years ago. Her pro, a guy who had played golf for over fifty years, invited her to play in a Pro-Am with him. He was shocked when he tried to register her and was told by several events that they didn’t accept women. He finally found one that would. But he was stunned when they got to the event and he noticed how few women were in the field. He had played in hundreds of Pro Ams, but he had never seen that women were not present until that moment.

 

Not only do we not see things that are there, we also see things that aren’t there. With most of us, we see things that aren’t there especially in the absence of information. We fill in the blanks with stories that are “all in our heads.” For example, one student told me that whenever there’s a delay in getting feedback from his clients on a project he just turned in, he’s certain that they don’t like it. He’s always wrong about that, but he re-creates that same story every time.

 

What about when a friend doesn’t return your phone call or your child is an hour late coming home? The fact is that your friend didn’t call and your child is not home yet. Anything else you tell yourself about the situation is pure speculation, filling in the blanks with a story you’ve made up in your head. Unfortunately, many people focus more on the stories they’ve created than the facts.

 

How you perceive and interpret facts begins in the mind. The conclusions you draw and the meanings you give facts begin in the mind. Whether you can even see certain facts, begins in the mind. Whether you see “facts” that aren’t there begins in the mind.

 

I’m saying “begins in the mind” because it doesn’t stop there. Your thoughts affect your emotions and insert themselves into your nervous system. They become embedded in your unconscious— even if your conscious mind disagrees.

 

In his book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell wrote about a Harvard study that measures unconscious associations using the Implicit Association Test (IAT). For instance, you might associate female with weakness or male with strength unconsciously, even if you don’t think that way consciously. Gladwell (whose father is white and whose mother is black) took an IAT on associations with different racial groups. He was horrified when the test revealed that his unconscious association with Caucasian-European was “good” and his association with African American was “bad.” (If you want to try one of the tests yourself, go to https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/.)

 

What begins in your head also shows up in your physical body. Decades ago, most physicians saw the body as a separate entity, a machine that operated on its own. But the mind-body connection is indisputable today. Doctors now know that thoughts and emotions are connected to many health challenges, from heart conditions to diabetes.

 

It might all just be in your head, but what’s in your head is extremely powerful.

 

Knowing that, what do we do about it?

 

That’s too big an issue to fully cover here. But these are just few of the strategies we teach in our Empower Your Life workshop:

  1. Be aware of what’s in your head. Ask yourself, “Does this serve me or not?”
  2. Question your assumptions and “truths,” especially if they prevent you from living the life you want to live.
  3. Clear out old conscious and unconscious emotional baggage, interpretations and perceptions.
  4. Be in control of what you put in your head.

 

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.”

—Tony Robbins

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at drmatt@nlp.com.

It’s All in Your Head

DrMatt -

“There is no fixed physical reality, no single perception of the world, just numerous ways of interpreting world views as dictated by one’s nervous system and the specific environment of our planetary existence.”

— Deepak Chopra

 
Do you remember how we use to use the phrase, “It’s all in your head?” It was used by doctors who couldn’t find the physical cause of an illness to say, “You’re not really sick.”  It was used by guilty spouses when their partner became suspicious to say “What you’re feeling/seeing/suspecting is all just your craziness.” It was used by parents to scold children into not being afraid of the witch under the bed or by bosses to ignore people who said they were being harassed or discriminated against.
 
Whenever someone said, “It’s all in your head,” they meant it as a dismissive put down. But the thing is, it all really is in your head. From the world you see around you, to the health of your body, it starts in the mind. And because it’s “all in your head,” you have enormous power to change it.
 
Don’t get me wrong. Certain things are plain fact, no matter what your mind says. A concrete driveway is a concrete driveway even if you want it to be a swimming pool. No matter how many times you visualize it as a swimming pool, no matter how many people you tell that it’s a swimming pool, even if you rename it “George’s Swimming Pool,” I’d still highly recommend you don’t go diving into it headfirst.
 
Though that concrete driveway is a fact (and will not turn into a swimming pool), still people will see it differently. Some people will think it’s attractive. Some will think it’s ugly. Some people will hate it for detracting from nature and others will love it for how it smooths their way into the garage. And some people will think, “Meh. It’s a driveway. Who cares?”
 

What about facts in your personal life? I always like the example of Spud Webb who is 5’6”-5’7”— yet he had a successful career in the NBA! How many kids would take the fact of being short and interpret it as “so I’ll never play pro basketball?” Mr. Webb did not change the fact of his height but he certainly chose a different interpretation of what it meant.

 

It’s all in your head. We aren’t affected in life by the facts nearly as much as our interpretation and perception of the facts.

 

And facts may be all around you that you simply don’t see. A friend told me a story of when she first started playing golf many years ago. Her pro, a guy who had played golf for over fifty years, invited her to play in a Pro-Am with him. He was shocked when he tried to register her and was told by several events that they didn’t accept women. He finally found one that would. But he was stunned when they got to the event and he noticed how few women were in the field. He had played in hundreds of Pro Ams, but he had never seen that women were not present until that moment.

 

Not only do we not see things that are there, we also see things that aren’t there. With most of us, we see things that aren’t there especially in the absence of information. We fill in the blanks with stories that are “all in our heads.” For example, one student told me that whenever there’s a delay in getting feedback from his clients on a project he just turned in, he’s certain that they don’t like it. He’s always wrong about that, but he re-creates that same story every time.

 

What about when a friend doesn’t return your phone call or your child is an hour late coming home? The fact is that your friend didn’t call and your child is not home yet. Anything else you tell yourself about the situation is pure speculation, filling in the blanks with a story you’ve made up in your head. Unfortunately, many people focus more on the stories they’ve created than the facts.

 

How you perceive and interpret facts begins in the mind. The conclusions you draw and the meanings you give facts begin in the mind. Whether you can even see certain facts, begins in the mind. Whether you see “facts” that aren’t there begins in the mind.

 

I’m saying “begins in the mind” because it doesn’t stop there. Your thoughts affect your emotions and insert themselves into your nervous system. They become embedded in your unconscious— even if your conscious mind disagrees.

 

In his book Blink, Malcolm Gladwell wrote about a Harvard study that measures unconscious associations using the Implicit Association Test (IAT). For instance, you might associate female with weakness or male with strength unconsciously, even if you don’t think that way consciously. Gladwell (whose father is white and whose mother is black) took an IAT on associations with different racial groups. He was horrified when the test revealed that his unconscious association with Caucasian-European was “good” and his association with African American was “bad.” (If you want to try one of the tests yourself, go to https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit/.)

 

What begins in your head also shows up in your physical body. Decades ago, most physicians saw the body as a separate entity, a machine that operated on its own. But the mind-body connection is indisputable today. Doctors now know that thoughts and emotions are connected to many health challenges, from heart conditions to diabetes.

 

It might all just be in your head, but what’s in your head is extremely powerful.

 

Knowing that, what do we do about it?

 

That’s too big an issue to fully cover here. But these are just few of the strategies we teach in our Empower Your Life workshop:

  1. Be aware of what’s in your head. Ask yourself, “Does this serve me or not?”
  2. Question your assumptions and “truths,” especially if they prevent you from living the life you want to live.
  3. Clear out old conscious and unconscious emotional baggage, interpretations and perceptions.
  4. Be in control of what you put in your head.

 

“Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives.”

—Tony Robbins

 
To your TOTAL empowerment!
 
Mahalo,

Dr. Matt
 
——————————————————————————————————————————
 
Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. Download his free special report, Everything You’ll Ever Need to Know to Achieve Your Goals. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at info@Huna.com or visit his blog at www.DrMatt.com.

Clearing Anxiety from Your Future

DrMatt -

“The truth is that there is no actual stress or anxiety in the world; it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs. You can’t package stress, touch it, or see it. There are only people engaged in stressful thinking.”

—Wayne Dyer

 

I’ve talked to a lot of students lately who feel unsettled and generally anxious. World events and politics seem to be contributing to it. It’s hard to turn on the radio or TV without hearing about some new calamity or other: extreme weather, the latest bombing/shooting, economic markets that freak with every new rumor. Like staring at a traffic accident, we get pulled into all the scary stuff happening out there, even when we realize that bad news is exaggerated to pump up ratings.

 

We can turn off the news but what about that sense of anxiety concerning our own lives? Generations ago, life seemed simpler and more stable. Marriages and jobs lasted a lifetime. You didn’t worry about what was happening halfway across the world because you didn’t know about it. You felt the support of extended family and you knew your neighbors. Life wasn’t always idyllic, especially for some people, but it seemed more predictable.

 

Today, marriages can end before the ink on the wedding license dries. Jobs depend on quarterly earnings almost more than good performance and hard work. Our families live thousands of miles away and we hardly know our neighbors. It’s easy to get wound up over all the things you cannot control. We feel anxious.

 

When we feel anxious, we are imagining a bad outcome for something that hasn’t happened yet, right? We might be setting goals, saying affirmations and working really hard toward the results we want. But if we’re anxious and worried about it, somewhere in our minds we’re imagining the result that we don’t want. Some part of us believes that the boogie man is poised out there in the future waiting to pull the rug out from under us.

 

Think about it: Why would you be anxious about paying next month’s bills? It’s because part of you believes you might not come up with enough money to cover them. Why would you be anxious about an upcoming speech or presentation? It’s because somewhere you have the image of yourself failing miserably. Why would you be worried about driving in the snow? It’s because you’re considering the possibility of skidding out and having an accident.

 

“But wait, Dr. Matt. I’ve had those bad things happen to me in the past. It’s just common sense to think they might happen again in the future.”

 

Do you really want the failures of your past to determine you future? That’s what you’re doing when you apply past experiences and project them into the future with your anxiety.

 

In my workshops, I teach a process based on Neuro Linguistic programming (NLP) and initially developed by my dad using your “timeline”. I’ve tweaked the process and it has evolved into Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy. We use it for a number of issues, including PTSD, phobias, emotional baggage and limiting beliefs. We also use it to release anxiety and project positive outcomes into the future. Here’s how it works:

  1. Establish your timeline. Our unconscious minds organize us—our memories, our present, what we anticipate in the future—using time. If you stop and think about it, you know where that timeline is in relation to your body. Bring up the memory of an event in your past. As you think about it, where is it in relation to your body? Many people experience the past behind them but it also could be to your left or your right. Now think about something that will be happening in the future. Where is that in relation to your body? In front of you? To the left or right? Just notice that you can draw a line between where your past is and where your future is. This is your timeline.
  2. Now think about a specific event in the future that you are anxious about. Maybe it’s a presentation or a difficult conversation you need to have. It might be the time of month when you sit down to pay bills. Get that specific event clearly in your mind and notice how you feel about it. You might have a clenched jaw or queasy stomach. You might have a feeling of panic or hopelessness. Whatever you feel, notice it.
  3. Next think about the best possible outcome for that event. What would that successful conclusion be? How would that feel? What would happen to let you know that you were successful? For example, maybe you easily pay all your bills and still have money left over. Get as clear an image of success as you can, even if you’re not clear how this could possibly happen.
  4. Now close your eyes and simply float above your timeline and out into the future until you are 15 minutes after the successful conclusion of the event. Float for a moment above your best possible outcome. (Don’t worry about doing this exactly right. Just play along.)
  5. Float down and into the moment that is 15 minutes after the successful completion of the event. Notice what you see, hear and feel in this moment. Stay for a few moments to bask in your success.
  6. When you’ve had a clear experience of that moment, float back up above your timeline and back into the present moment. Open your eyes, take a few deep breaths and look around the room.
  7. Finally, bring to mind the event in the future you were anxious about. As you think of it, notice how you feel. Do you have a different attitude about it? Do you feel more confident, more capable? And, can you see how your new attitude could lead you to a better outcome than your old anxiety?

 

For most people, this simple exercise removes or substantially decreases their anxiety. The shift in attitude feels so natural that they have trouble believing that they were ever anxious about it in the first place. Use this process to project the outcomes you want into your future, not the ones you don’t want.

 

To experience MER® for yourself at a live training, consider attending the Empowering Your Life® Weekend that I conduct with Tris Thorp through the Empowerment Partnership (http://www.empowermentpartnership.com/).

 

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

—Albert Einstein

 

To your TOTAL empowerment!

 

Mahalo,

Dr. Matt

 

——————————————————————————————————————————

 

Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at info@Huna.com or visit his blog at www.DrMatt.com.

 

References: a 1961 Reader’s Digest article by Edison’s son Charles; according to Matthew Josephson’s biography of Edison

Clearing Anxiety from Your Future

DrMatt -

“The truth is that there is no actual stress or anxiety in the world; it’s your thoughts that create these false beliefs. You can’t package stress, touch it, or see it. There are only people engaged in stressful thinking.”

—Wayne Dyer

 

I’ve talked to a lot of students lately who feel unsettled and generally anxious. World events and politics seem to be contributing to it. It’s hard to turn on the radio or TV without hearing about some new calamity or other: extreme weather, the latest bombing/shooting, economic markets that freak with every new rumor. Like staring at a traffic accident, we get pulled into all the scary stuff happening out there, even when we realize that bad news is exaggerated to pump up ratings.

 

We can turn off the news but what about that sense of anxiety concerning our own lives? Generations ago, life seemed simpler and more stable. Marriages and jobs lasted a lifetime. You didn’t worry about what was happening halfway across the world because you didn’t know about it. You felt the support of extended family and you knew your neighbors. Life wasn’t always idyllic, especially for some people, but it seemed more predictable.

 

Today, marriages can end before the ink on the wedding license dries. Jobs depend on quarterly earnings almost more than good performance and hard work. Our families live thousands of miles away and we hardly know our neighbors. It’s easy to get wound up over all the things you cannot control. We feel anxious.

 

When we feel anxious, we are imagining a bad outcome for something that hasn’t happened yet, right? We might be setting goals, saying affirmations and working really hard toward the results we want. But if we’re anxious and worried about it, somewhere in our minds we’re imagining the result that we don’t want. Some part of us believes that the boogie man is poised out there in the future waiting to pull the rug out from under us.

 

Think about it: Why would you be anxious about paying next month’s bills? It’s because part of you believes you might not come up with enough money to cover them. Why would you be anxious about an upcoming speech or presentation? It’s because somewhere you have the image of yourself failing miserably. Why would you be worried about driving in the snow? It’s because you’re considering the possibility of skidding out and having an accident.

 

“But wait, Dr. Matt. I’ve had those bad things happen to me in the past. It’s just common sense to think they might happen again in the future.”

 

Do you really want the failures of your past to determine you future? That’s what you’re doing when you apply past experiences and project them into the future with your anxiety.

 

In my workshops, I teach a process based on Neuro Linguistic programming (NLP) and initially developed by my dad using your “timeline”. I’ve tweaked the process and it has evolved into Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy. We use it for a number of issues, including PTSD, phobias, emotional baggage and limiting beliefs. We also use it to release anxiety and project positive outcomes into the future. Here’s how it works:

  1. Establish your timeline. Our unconscious minds organize us—our memories, our present, what we anticipate in the future—using time. If you stop and think about it, you know where that timeline is in relation to your body. Bring up the memory of an event in your past. As you think about it, where is it in relation to your body? Many people experience the past behind them but it also could be to your left or your right. Now think about something that will be happening in the future. Where is that in relation to your body? In front of you? To the left or right? Just notice that you can draw a line between where your past is and where your future is. This is your timeline.
  2. Now think about a specific event in the future that you are anxious about. Maybe it’s a presentation or a difficult conversation you need to have. It might be the time of month when you sit down to pay bills. Get that specific event clearly in your mind and notice how you feel about it. You might have a clenched jaw or queasy stomach. You might have a feeling of panic or hopelessness. Whatever you feel, notice it.
  3. Next think about the best possible outcome for that event. What would that successful conclusion be? How would that feel? What would happen to let you know that you were successful? For example, maybe you easily pay all your bills and still have money left over. Get as clear an image of success as you can, even if you’re not clear how this could possibly happen.
  4. Now close your eyes and simply float above your timeline and out into the future until you are 15 minutes after the successful conclusion of the event. Float for a moment above your best possible outcome. (Don’t worry about doing this exactly right. Just play along.)
  5. Float down and into the moment that is 15 minutes after the successful completion of the event. Notice what you see, hear and feel in this moment. Stay for a few moments to bask in your success.
  6. When you’ve had a clear experience of that moment, float back up above your timeline and back into the present moment. Open your eyes, take a few deep breaths and look around the room.
  7. Finally, bring to mind the event in the future you were anxious about. As you think of it, notice how you feel. Do you have a different attitude about it? Do you feel more confident, more capable? And, can you see how your new attitude could lead you to a better outcome than your old anxiety?

 

For most people, this simple exercise removes or substantially decreases their anxiety. The shift in attitude feels so natural that they have trouble believing that they were ever anxious about it in the first place. Use this process to project the outcomes you want into your future, not the ones you don’t want.

 

To experience MER® for yourself at a live training, consider attending the Empowering Your Life® Weekend that I conduct with Tris Thorp through the Empowerment Partnership (http://www.empowermentpartnership.com/).

 

“Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

—Albert Einstein

 

To your TOTAL empowerment!

 

Mahalo,

Dr. Matt

 

——————————————————————————————————————————

 

Byline: Matthew B. James, MA, Ph.D., is President of The Empowerment Partnership. Author of several books, Dr. Matt has trained thousands of students to be totally empowered using Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP), Huna, Mental Emotional Release® (MER®) therapy, and Empowerment Fit, a program that incorporates targeted mind/body/spirit practices to create optimal physical fitness and health. To reach Dr. James, please e-mail him at info@Huna.com or visit his blog at www.DrMatt.com.

 

References: a 1961 Reader’s Digest article by Edison’s son Charles; according to Matthew Josephson’s biography of Edison

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